Artikel für „Via Connection“ USA
Since about seven years I share my experiences in meditation with many people in Satsang. I never planned to do this and never expected that I would ever do it. It started when some friends contacted me asking to sit together with them regularily in meditation and answer them some questions. First I refused because I simply felt too shy. And til now I dont have the urge to share all and everything which I experience in meditation or every new understanding with some- or everybody. On the contrary my feeling is, that sometimes sharing meditative experiences too early or to everybody is quite dangerous for oneself and others, because on one hand a small new plant of understanding and meditation is easily destroyed by exposing it to storm and on the other hand it is very important to look exactly to whom one tells what. If I speak to somebody about something, that he cannot really comprehend and digest in his heart, it may cause disturbances in his mind or just a sensation of couriosity or thrill, which strengthens the conceptual mind rather than his meditation and can strengthen proud or spiritual ego in the one who speaks rather than his compassion.
Also there is much chitchat going on about meditative experiences, which I consider as being just disrespectful towards silence and meditativeness, which are such a treasure in our lives. So till now I am quite cautious and aware about when and to whom and especially with what motivation I talk, because the motivation of anything we do or speak or think is so important. So I had much to consider and contemplate when my friends wanted me to sit with them, but after a while I agreed, because I knew from my own experience, especially with Osho, but also with other masters, how blessing it is to just sit with a being who is silent in the heart and how helpful it is for a deep understanding of the processes in human mind and the development and evolution of human consciousness to have the chance to ask questions and to listen to an authentic master or teacher. So I came to the conclusion that I have to speak about the immense preciousness of the innermost silent, joyful and peaceful core of every being. Or better that I have to speak out of this preciousness, which I experience as being unshakeable. I myself had heard about this so many times from Osho and although hearing it and living in and out of it is such a tremendous difference, I still knew that hearing and experiencing it authentically by Osho was a bridge for me for which I am so grateful. Out of this knowing, out of this gratefulness and out of the hope to be able to reach out a hand and let other beings feel this preciousness I finally began to speak. This kind of speaking was a big challenge for me and this did not change until today although I give talks almost every weekend. The challenge has many aspects and dimensions.
First of all I am still shy to speak about these innermost no-things which to me are more intimate than anything else. Secondly I am trembling to speak about that which can not be spoken of and all the time feel like stuttering in doing so. Third for me it is very important only to speak about that which I can transmit directly as being my own experience. Fourth it is neccessary to constantly look for new words and terms because nowadays in this flood of esoteric and spiritual literature and teachings of more or less high quality many words and terms got sick and lost their meaning – even the word enlightenment – and the number of sick and dead words is growing.
Fifth in my experience it is not enough to just share ones own experience but very often neccessary to meet a being halfway and to understand and change very deeply the causes and roots of a persons suffering or concepts or hindrances for meditation. Also it is often neccessary to find or invent skillful means for a unique situation or the next step in understanding which is possible for a being. These are just some of the challenges I meet. And I love challenges because they cause further growing, further deepening of meditation and compassion, further opening for myself. And I am glad to experience, what Osho told us all the time, that there is no end to growing, no end to discovering in the infinity of wisdom. Also I feel very much the need of great and constant awareness for myself, because I also do not see a point of security anywhere. And this is a cause of joy for me as really being the challenge for always growing awareness and compassion.